Two of Lydia’s Fullbright friends (Lisa & Amanda) are visiting & staying over for the week. It’s cool having company, and listening to their stories about experiences in Indonesia as Americans.
I met them before in August. There is a group of almost 30 who are all assisstant teaching (English) in Indonesian high schools. They’ve been here for 5 months now. Their experiences as women here in Indonesia are far different from mine, because culturally men are treated much differently here. It’s interesting to compare.
For example, Javanese, in particular, are quick to judge people along a set of unwritten rules about what is proper or not. It comes across as subtle social pressure, but it’s unmistakable- and weighs most heavily over women.
Amanda, who is teaching near Surabaya, was invited to a professional volleyball game one evening by another Indonesian teacher from school. He’s married with 3 kids, so Amanda thought, “great! No awkward pressure, or anyone thinking this was a date! Let’s go!”
Tisk tisk! Went the unapproving looks & commentary from the rest of the female teachers the next day. No no no! Absolutely inappropriate! A woman going out with a married man, unaccompanied by his wife in the evening? Shame!!
Who cares if it was a public event that she wanted to go to, and they were home by 9? According to the unwritten rules, she should have refused to go with a man and found other girls to go with, or stayed at home and twiddled her thumbs.
The subtlety of Javanese social pressure is to make you feel that you did something wrong if you cross the unwritten rules. It’s a powerful deterrent.
Even Amanda, who still feels she did nothing wrong with the volley-ball night out, says she’ll never do that again. “apparently it was a mistake” she says.
Their stories are interesting because if I were in similar circumstances, I would never hear a peep about it. All the talk would be behind my back, with innocent smiles to my face.
I met them before in August. There is a group of almost 30 who are all assisstant teaching (English) in Indonesian high schools. They’ve been here for 5 months now. Their experiences as women here in Indonesia are far different from mine, because culturally men are treated much differently here. It’s interesting to compare.
For example, Javanese, in particular, are quick to judge people along a set of unwritten rules about what is proper or not. It comes across as subtle social pressure, but it’s unmistakable- and weighs most heavily over women.
Amanda, who is teaching near Surabaya, was invited to a professional volleyball game one evening by another Indonesian teacher from school. He’s married with 3 kids, so Amanda thought, “great! No awkward pressure, or anyone thinking this was a date! Let’s go!”
Tisk tisk! Went the unapproving looks & commentary from the rest of the female teachers the next day. No no no! Absolutely inappropriate! A woman going out with a married man, unaccompanied by his wife in the evening? Shame!!
Who cares if it was a public event that she wanted to go to, and they were home by 9? According to the unwritten rules, she should have refused to go with a man and found other girls to go with, or stayed at home and twiddled her thumbs.
The subtlety of Javanese social pressure is to make you feel that you did something wrong if you cross the unwritten rules. It’s a powerful deterrent.
Even Amanda, who still feels she did nothing wrong with the volley-ball night out, says she’ll never do that again. “apparently it was a mistake” she says.
Their stories are interesting because if I were in similar circumstances, I would never hear a peep about it. All the talk would be behind my back, with innocent smiles to my face.
posted by jonathan adventures at 2:49 PM
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